


Dibs on the Dinosaur

by Kereea



Series: ASL In Red [24]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Battle, Comedy, Dinosaurs, F/F, F/M, Luffy Being Luffy, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 18:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: Jack the Drought has come to Zou to bring the Straw Hats and Hearts to heel. Backing him up is X Drake and—Luffy, Luffy, no. No, you can’t recruit X Drake right now. Luffy we’re kind of in the middle of something here!





	Dibs on the Dinosaur

_“Shishishi, of course!” Luffy said. “It’s a two birds one rock deal, right? We don’t have to fight the dinosaur if we get him on the crew!”_

_“…WHAT?” everyone else yelled loudly._

 “He _cannot_ be serious,” Duke Dogstorm said.

 “ _Goronyaya_ , you old mutt!” Cat Viper laughed. “Clearly you don’t know that this boy’s even further from serious than little Shanks ever was!”

 “…You mean how he is normally, not his plan to recruit the dinosaur, right?” Momonosuke asked Cat Viper.

 “Yes, Prince Momonosuke, I understand he is being entirely truthful about wanting to recruit this dinosaur for some reason,” Cat Viper reassured the young samurai.

 “Okay, good,” Momonosuke said before raising his hand. “I second getting a dinosaur because it sounds cool!”

 Kanjuro sighed and rubbed his temples while Ace and Kin’emon shared terrified looks.

 “Luffy, stop being a bad influence,” Ace muttered.

 “You’re one to talk,” Sabo muttered back. Ace shoved him and they began to tussle at the table. Koala reached over to try and separate them before Law got frustrated and just used Shambles to move Sabo a few seats over so Koala, Luffy, and Law were between him and Ace.

 “Thank you,” Nami said. Law sighed and nodded.

 “All right, back to business,” Duke Dogstorm said. “Straw Hat Luffy is apparently going to spend a lot of this fight attempting to recruit the pirate known as X Drake. Given the reactions of everyone else, I assume we shall all simply leave him to it and plan around it.”

 “Wait, hey, no, you guys aren’t going to help me?” Luffy whined.

 “Luffy, you kind of want to do a dumb thing while we’re in an emergency situation. We know you, so we’ll let you do it, but…yeah,” Sabo said. “We _do_ have other problems too.”

 “Wait, we’re doing that?” Ace asked. “I think Lu maybe needs to let this one go. We’re going to have a lot of shit to deal with and we don’t even know how Drake’s even going to be involved yet so is it really smart for you to get this fixated so soon?”

 “Plus, if we leave him to his own devices to do it who knows what he’ll do,” Koala added. “It’s Luffy. You can’t plan around someone else’s plan when they don’t have a plan.”

 “We could do a Davy Back fight, maybe get him that way,” Luffy mused.

 Law took a deep breath, bridging his fingers before pointing the bridge at Luffy, “Luffy-ya, I love you, and I understand you really, _really_ want to recruit X Drake. Under ordinary circumstances I would not _mind_ recruiting X Drake. He’s a perfectly nice person, really. _However_ , we have a bit of a situation here and if you do something really stupid in trying to recruit him I will Shambles your ass off this elephant _so fast_ it’ll make your head spin around a dozen times.”

 “That is a very specific threat,” Luffy said.

 “I’m in a very specific mood,” Law replied, leaning back and folding his arms.

 “Okay, well, you’re super smart, so you come up with something!” Luffy said. “Come on, Traffy! Help me out here!”

 Law stared at Luffy as Luffy stared back at him with huge, innocent black eyes. Law was unmoved. Bepo chuckled quietly at his captain managing to remain unmoved, while many of the Minks marveled at Law’s built-up resistance to puppy eyes. Kanjuro quietly applauded. Bellamy snickered.

 “You know if you don’t come up with something then Luffy will default to his own plans, right? His own very not-well-made plans?” Sabo asked, elbowing Law with a resigned expression.

 “Okay, fine,” Law sighed. “I will…think of _something_ to let us try and recruit Drake once they’re up here. Okay?”

 “Thanks, Traffy! You’re the best!” Luffy said, throwing his arms around Law.

 “Uh huh. Yeah,” Law said. “I suppose the linchpin is finding out why he’s working with Kaido. Drake pretty much sought out Kaido’s crew right off the bat and picked a fight, which is unlike him since he’s not usually an idiot. Sometimes a well-intentioned doofus, but not an idiot like _that_.”

 “And, of course, you have different degrees of stupid you use to designate people,” Ace muttered, rolling his eyes.

 “I modified Nami’s system but yes,” Law said, grinning slightly as Nami gave him a thumbs up. “All right. So, Luffy-ya, if you can find out _why_ Drake is working for Kaido you may be able to use that to recruit him. And no, I’m not helping. I’m probably going to be stuck healing all you idiots nearly getting yourselves killed _all day long_. Can’t leave poor Dr. Tony to do it alone, after all.”

 “Thank you, Dr. Trafalgar,” Chopper sighed in relief, placing a hoof over his heart.

 “Okay but wait…” Sabo said. “If you’re on defense and medical and Luffy’s focused on Drake…who deals with Jack?”

 “I assumed Cat Viper and-or Dogstorm would want to fight him,” Kin’emon said.

 “Yeah, we could go for that,” Ace said. “Lu, Law, Jinbe, and I are the strongest for our crew, so if Lu and Law sit out then it’s me or Jinbe going for the big guy if the two bosses here need help.”

 “You’ll need to be very careful, Ace,” Jinbe warned. “Unless the fighting is confined to the city, your fires pose a huge risk. True the jungle is humid and damp, nothing like, say, a dry pine forest, but it _can_ still be burnt.”

 “I’ll be careful,” Ace said, nodding.

 “You might need to hang back anyway,” Koala said. “Momo’s going to be a huge target once they figure out he’s here, and your fire barriers can be a good way to stop people from getting to him.”

 “Barto should help protect Momo too, with his cool wall powers!” Luffy added.

 “Luffy-sempai thinks my powers are _cool_!” Bartolomeo said, tearing up as he tried to hide his grin behind his hands. His crew all began to pat him on the back and congratulate him for being amazing enough to get Luffy’s attention in such a way.

 “…Yeah, do that,” Law said, an evil smirk slowly forming on his face. “Stay with Ace and Momo.”

 “You sick son of a…gun,” Ace caught himself, glancing at Momonosuke. “Fine, Bartolomeo. You and I are on Momo Duty.”

 “I won’t let you down!” Bartolomeo declared.

 “Yeah, but paint-logia-dude should stay clear because the fire hazard,” Franky said.

 “Oh, then stay clear of Sanji too,” Zoro said.

 “…Did I miss something, why is paint a fire hazard?” Sanji asked.

 “It’s some weird kind of oil-base paint,” Koala said. “It catches fire.”

 “We’ve tested!” one member of the Barto Club said, holding up a lighter. Bartolomeo looked a little embarrassed.

 “We used fire blankets for safety,” another crew member added, to Bartolomeo’s approval.

 “Okay, okay…” Luffy said. “Sabo, Usopp, you’re good with paint. Paint ideas?”

 “Oil base can be pretty greasy…maybe we could make a grease trap?” Usopp mused. “Yeah, I think I’ve got something there…”

.o.o.o.

 “You know Luffy’s going to do it, right? Get Drake on our side?” Chopper asked as he and Law checked over the hospital’s plans.

 “Of _course_ I know he’s going to do it,” Law said. “He’s Luffy. The questions are only how long will it take him to do it, how many injuries will he accumulate in doing it, what else will go wrong while he is distracted by doing it, and why is Penguin taking so long with my damn coffee?”

 “Well, we’re preparing for an invasion, something tells me there wasn’t a pot ready,” Chopper said. Law glared at him. Chopper chuckled nervously, “I’m sure you’ll get it soon.”

 “Damn right I will,” Law muttered. “Let’s see, the Barto Club should mostly be staying back unless they’re partnered with someone stronger so they’ll probably only end up being a large amount of injuries if they do something stupid.”

 “…They do idolize Luffy,” Chopper noted.

 “Yep,” Law said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I should be able to handle a basic Room that extends past the front doors if I have a window to see them through so I know who or what to deal with while I’m working on the injured inside.”

 “We should probably funnel the most critical patients to you,” Chopper said. “At the very least you can get them into a more stable state and then pass them off onto someone else to work on.”

 “Makes sense,” Law agreed as Penguin came running in with a thermos. “Took you long enough.”

 “Dr. Trafalgar!” Chopper scolded.

 Law glared at him. Chopper tapped a hoof impatiently. Law sighed, took a swig of coffee, and sighed again, this time sounding a little more content. “Thanks, Penguin.”

 “You’re welcome, Captain,” Penguin said. “I’d better get back to-”

 A loud gong rang throughout the city. Law smirked and shouldered Kikoku.

 “Better get there fast, Penguin. It’s starting.”

.o.o.o.

 Momonosuke jumped about a foot in the air when the gong rang out. Ace chuckled and shook his head.

 “Easy, Momo, just a signal for everyone to get ready. Jack’s not even in the city yet; he’ll have to deal with the folks in the jungle first.”

 “What about Drake?” Momonosuke asked.

 “I do not see a dinosaur nor do I see the great Luffy-sempai engaged in fighting anyone!” Bartolomeo reported from the window.

 “What’s Luffy doing, anyway?” Ace asked.

 “Eh…he seems to be talking with Robin-sempai and Franky-sempai,” Bartolomeo said. “Franky-sempai has just yelled ‘SUUUPER!’ and by their motions I think Luffy-sempai has called Robin-sempai’s idea cool.”

 “…Okay then,” Ace said. “Let me know when you actually see something.”

 “Well, there’s some smoke coming out of the trees,” Bartolomeo said, pressing his nose against the glass as he peered more intently onward. His large, fang-like teeth scraped against the glass as he talked. “It…maybe looks like something blew up. Maybe?”

 “Did we have any explosions planned?” Momo asked.

 Ace frowned, “I…don’t know.”

.o.o.o.

 “Get back here so I can shove those bombs right up your ass!” Koala yelled as she chased down a dog zoan—probably some kind of terrier, going by the face—and Sabo and Jinbe hurried after her.

 Their ambush had initially gone off well…until one of Jack’s men had panicked and begun throwing bombs everywhere. The smoke and explosions had left everyone confused and scattered. Wanda declared they needed to stop the bomber, and Koala had taken to it with gusto since her goggles had cracked when a bomb knocked her over.

 “I think we’re heading back towards the city!” Sabo called to Jinbe. He’d repurposed his cravat as a makeshift scarf to filer the smoke before breathing it in.

 Jinbe nodded, keeping a sleeve of his robe pressed over his own mouth and nose. “With luck she’ll just chase him clean into the first line of defense. Then we can wheel around and charge back at Jack’s group.”

 “There might be more than one group, I thought that didn’t look like too many people with him for him being one of Kaido’s top three,” Sabo said. “I-”

 He just barely whipped his pole out in time to block the axe headed for his head. The…oddly four-bladed axe.

 “X Drake,” Sabo said as Jinbe knocked the ex-Marine away from Sabo. “My brother wants to see you.”

 “I hope he doesn’t mind that I brought company, then,” Drake said.

 Sabo tensed, only to realize there was no one else there with the three of them. “They…they’re already at the city, aren’t they?”

 “Well, they’re following your loud, angry girlfriend. Hard to get lost that way,” Drake said.

 “You stay away from my angry girlfriend!” Sabo said, pulling a pistol out of his shirt and shooting at Drake, who caught the bullet between Haki-coated teeth as he transformed into a Giganotosaurus.

 “Luffy’s going to be jealous we started without him,” Sabo chuckled, only for his jaw to drop as Drake was yanked backwards by the tail.

 Jinbe turned sharply on his heel, flinging Drake far into the distance.

 “That was awesome…oh shit. Jinbe! You threw him at the city!” Sabo yelled.

 “If we can’t bring Luffy to the dinosaur, then we throw the dinosaur at Luffy,” Jinbe said.

 “…That…actually makes sense. You’ve been hanging out with us way too long,” Sabo said, grinning. “Now let’s go catch up to Koala before she beats bomb guy too much and there’s none for us!”

.o.o.o.

 “Okay, no one said the dinosaur could fly!” Zoro complained as the giant reptile went hurtling out of the trees.

 “Oh please, moss brains, that’s not flying, that’s mid-air flailing as gravity starts to assert itself,” Sanji scoffed as he stubbed out his current cigarette.

 “There’s a dinosaur _in the air,_ shit-cook!” Zoro yelled, jabbing one of his swords in Sanji’s direction.

 “Well, now there’s not,” Perona said as Drake hastily changed forms before hitting the ground. “Ooh, that probably didn’t soften it much…hey, how’s Luffy going to find him now that he’s not a dinosaur?”

 “The man parades around with an open shirt and an X tattooed on his chest,” Sanji scoffed. “ _Zoro_ could find him.”

 “Shut up, someone’s coming,” Zoro said, trying to elbow Sanji who nimbly dodged.

 “Oh, it’s just Koala,” Kanjuro said. “Apparently intent on bringing harm to that dog fellow.”

 “I’ve got your back!” Perona said, sending a ghost into the dog-man so Koala could catch up and begin the pummeling…only for over a hundred pirates to burst out of the jungle from behind Koala.

 “AH!” Perona yelled, grabbing her head. “I can’t have her back that many times at once!”

 “We got it!” Sanji and Zoro said, charging forward.

 “…Do you think she knew she was being followed?” Kanjuro asked as he finished drawing a lopsided giant snake and pointing it at the incoming army.

 “No. Not at all,” Perona said, cringing.

.o.o.o.

 “Minks! To arms!” Duke Dogstorm yelled as the enemy approached.

 “All right, let’s kick some ass!” Franky cheered. “Robin, just like we planned!”

 Robin nodded and dozens of large arms sprouted from the ground. The Mink warriors, Franky, and Bentham all jumped into the hands and were flung straight at the oncoming army like heavily-armed fastballs.

 “ _SUPER!”_ Franky cheered as he collided with one medium giant fists-first before vaulting over the enemy’s head to launch a rocket fist that the one behind him.

 “Best way to enter battle _ever_ ,” Sicilian declared as he proceeded to fence two enemies at once.

 “It certainly gave us the element of surprise!” Bentham laughed as he pirouetted out of reach of one opponent and performed a plie to duck an axe before snapping up and kicking the wielder in the head. 

 “Is it really a surprise when we were lined up right there and they saw us being thrown?” Pedro asked.

 “Bro, don’t ruin it,” Franky said.

.o.o.o.

 “Dang it!” Luffy whined. “I lost the dinosaur guy once everyone started fighting! Usopp, tell me where he is!”

 “Luffy, he’s like eight feet tall, how did you lose him?” Shachi asked.

 “There’s a lot of people eight feet tall here, okay?” Luffy asked, pouting.

 “There, with the really pointy hair, see?” Usopp gestured as he continued firing at the enemy’s back line.

 “Oh yeah, that is weird hair. Must take a lot of gel,” Shachi said as he reloaded his harpoon gun.

 “Awesome! Thanks guys!” Luffy said, hugging them before jumping off the tower yelling, “Hey dinosaur dude, wait up!”

 “…Shoot anyone who tries to kill him while he’s distracted?” Shachi asked.

 “Yeah, I don’t want know what his brothers and Law will do to us if we don’t,” Usopp agreed. “So…oh. Wow. That guy is big.”

 “You’re right. Shoot him first,” Shachi agreed, aiming at the newest target.

.o.o.o.

 “Is that Jack, then?” Nami asked, peeking out from behind her barricade.

 “It looks like the wanted posters—and Shachi just shot him,” Penguin sighed.

 “…Aren’t those harpoons all metal?” Vivi asked.

 “Yep,” Nami said, grinning. “One Lightning Tempo, coming up!”

 “Got you covered!” Vivi said, whirling her peacock slicers while Penguin readied a shield he’d been leant by the Minks.

 “You plan to electrify the Harpoon?” Cat Viper asked, coming up from the rear line.

 “Yes, why?” Nami asked.

 “We’ll see if it works first,” Cat Viper demurred.

 Nami glared at him before wheeling around and aiming at Jack, “Fine—Lightning Tempo!”

 The lightning arced across the field, finding a home in the harpoon in Jack’s chest.

 “Goronyaya! That’s what I’m talking about!” Cat Viper laughed. “HEY MUTT! AIM FOR THE HARPOON!”

 “I HAVE EYES, YOU MANGY FELINE!” Dogstorm called back from the front.

 “That went well,” Cat Viper said cheerfully. “Oh, what now…”

 “Jack’s a Zoan!” Nami warned as Jack transformed into a massive mammoth.

 “He’s going to charge!” Vivi said.

 “We have to stop him before he breaks the lines!” Penguin said.

 It was too late. Jack took off at full steam. Zoro seemed to try to get in the way, but was blocked by another of Jack’s followers and couldn’t cut the man down in time to get in front of Jack. Robin quickly made giant arms to hurl boulders towards Jack’s head, but the rocks simply broke against his skull.

 “I got him!” Cat Viper said, leaping in front of the barricade and swinging his staff forward. The staff caught on Jack’s tusks, and the great mammoth tilted as he was only able to shove Cat Viper back a few inches before Cat Viper broke his momentum entirely.

 “Now have a taste of my lightning! Electro lightning that is, goronyaya!” Cat Viper laughed, shoving an electrified paw into Jack’s face.

 “Get him!” one of the minks in the back line yelled, and several more warriors rushed forward to pile onto Jack. Vivi, Nami, and Penguin were forced to duck behind the barricade to protect their eyes from the bright flashes of electricity.

 “What are you looking for?” Nami asked Penguin as he peeked out.

 “This really doesn’t seem like enough guys,” Penguin said. “Not to invade a nation. I mean…Drake’s crew was supposed to be pretty big and even if Kaido killed a lot of them…this doesn’t seem like enough people.”

 Vivi paled, “You think someone’s in the city? Behind us?”

 “If they are, then they’ll probably either run into Ace or Law,” Nami said. “I can’t exactly feel sorry for them then.”

.o.o.o.

 “This is incredible!” Momonosuke cheered. Ace had acquiesced to letting him near the window if he was inside one of Bartolomeo’s barriers while standing near it. So now the little prince was perched on Ace’s shoulders inside a round barrier with Bartolomeo so he could watch.

 “I thought that Jack the Drought and the dinosaur the great Luffy wishes to capture were both supposed to have large crews?” Bartolomeo asked.

 “Yeah, so? There’s like…over three hundred fighters out there for the bad guys,” Ace said.

 “That doesn’t sound like a very large crew. Wasn’t Marco’s dad’s crew like, more than a thousand?” Momonosuke asked.

 “Yeah but Whitebeard was an Emperor. Jack just works for one, he’s one of Kaido’s three underlings,” Ace said.

 “Hmm…a thousand…divide by three…that’s more than three hundred…I think…” Bartolomeo said. He frowned and started trying to do it on his fingers.

 “We don’t know the actual numbers, Barto,” Ace said.

 “But, like, for invading somewhere like Zunisha…seems small,” Momo said. “There were _way_ more people when they attacked Wano.”

  “…Like how many more?” Ace asked before a crowd of people went charging down the street towards their hiding spot. “Oh shit. Barto, watch Momo!”

 He raced out the door and hurried down the stairs, but by the time he got outside Kin’emon had already engaged the attackers.

 All at once.

 At least three of them seemed to just be standing still in shock at how the samurai was managing to fight them and turn their clothes into things by yelling “poof” when he hit them.

 Ace had to admit, it was kind of cool, but he still jumped in to help right away. “Looks like you have this covered.”

 “Obviously a mere scout group, seeking out Prince Momonosuke,” Kin’emon said. “We must prevent any from escaping and reporting back with the location!”

 One of the watchers shook himself to attention and fired a stream of bubbles into the sky.

 “Or something like that. Oops,” Kin’emon said.

 “We’re going to be dealing with reinforcements, then,” Ace muttered.

 “Then we shall see who deals with them best!” Kin’emon said.

 “Yeah, okay, I got you,” Ace chuckled.

 They cleared out the main wave to give themselves a breather before the reinforcements arrived. The ground started to shake.

 “Elephant-quake?” Ace wondered before a giant mammoth came charging down the street at them. “Eh. Close enough.”

 “You shall not—ahh!” Kinemon yelped as he tried to slow Jack down.

 “Ah, shit,” Ace muttered as Kin’emon disappeared into the jungle. He frowned at Jack, still a mammoth, “All right then, let’s do this.”

 “Let’s,” Jack agreed, before charging at the building behind Ace.

.o.o.o.

 “Law’s not going to be happy about this!” Bellamy groaned as he, Brook, and Bepo tried to help some of the minks keep the sneak attackers away from the hospital.

 “Captain’s going to be so disappointed that the main force lost track of this many enemies!” Bepo agreed.

 “I’s really quite shocking! Unless perhaps they took a really long way around in the jungle?” Brook suggested as he quickly subdued some of the opposing swordsmen.

 The ground shook and Bepo groaned, “Oh, now what?”

 “Looks like someone’s dropping building, Bepo,” Bellamy said after springing up for a look.

 “Vandals!” Bepo gasped. “How horrible!”

 A Room suddenly engulfed them and decapitated their opponents while teleporting the injured Minks inside.

 “…At least we know he’s paying attention,” Brook offered as the room disappeared.

 “Captain, why leave us outside?” Bepo wailed.

 “…Because here might be more attackers?” Carrot pointed out weakly.

 “Oh. Right,” Bepo said.

.o.o.o.

 Luffy laughed as he finally found Drake, “There you are!”

 “Hey!” Drake yelped as Luffy awkwardly ruffled his hair. He kicked Luffy back, “What the heck is wrong with you?”

 “Sorry, I hadn’t seen you without your hat before. What happened to it? It was a pretty cool hat,” Luffy said. He’d rate it right behind his hat, Traffy’s hat, Chopper’s hat, and Penguin’s hat. Shachi and Usopp’s hats weren’t quite as cool as Drake’s had been.

 “Why do you care about my hat?” Drake demanded as he grew a tail a spun sharply to try and hit Luffy with it.

 Luffy jumped it. He had years of jumping over Sabo’s pipe behind him, after all. “Well I guess it just sort of stuck out to me as something different. Since, you know, I’m wondering why you’re with Kaido and all…did Kaido take your hat?”

 “Why the hell would Kaido take my hat?” Drake asked, giving Luffy a weird look.

 “…Well maybe it’s a hostage?” Luffy offered before Drake swung his weird axe at him. “Ah! Hey, we were having a nice talk!”

 “Well then let’s have a nice fight!” Drake said, brandishing his weapons.

 “I mean if you want to, fine,” Luffy said, hardening his fists with Haki and socking Drake in the jaw. “So, okay. Not the hat. Why’d you join Kaido? Law says he’s grabbing a lot of us super rookie guys and all but you seemed like the first. Was it your idea? If it is, can you say why because it seems like a weird idea. I mean, not all of us like each other so getting us all to work together-”

 “Would you just shut up and fight?” Drake asked.

 “It’s not a one or other thing!” Luffy said as they traded blows. The mace wasn’t really doing much to him, as a rubber man, but the axe was kind of a pain. “I can totally fight and talk.”

 “Well how about you don’t!” Drake said.

 “…Nah. I want to,” Luffy said. “You want to fight, we fight, I want to talk, I talk. It’s how it is. So, anyway, did Kaido beat you up or something? I heard he beat Kidd up.”

 “Why do you care about that?” Drake groaned.

 “I want to know why you’re with Kaido!” Luffy said, finally stealing the axe and throwing it away. He vaguely heard Nami yell at him to watch where he threw things and winced. He was going to have to deal with that later, wasn’t he? Darn it!

 “Fine! His men beat my crew! Is that what you wanted to hear?” Drake roared.

 “But why?” Luffy asked. "Law said you fought with him, right?"

 “Yes, okay? We went to fight them!” Drake said.

 “Why?” Luffy asked. “I mean I want to fight Kaido too but everyone else says it’s a bad idea so I’m guessing it is one even though I’m going to do it anyway…”

 “He’s the one!” Drake snarled. “The one who gave my father the Devil Fruit!”

 “So…wait…” Luffy said. “Why did Kaido give your dad a Devil Fruit?”

 “That’s what I wanted to _know_!” Drake roared, trying to slash Luffy. Luffy dodged it and used the wall as a springboard to rocket past Drake. He reached out as he did so, catching Drake’s shoulder to make Drake spin quickly. Drake was so disoriented by the spin that he missed the uppercut Luffy slammed into his jaw.

 As Drake staggered Luffy cocked his head, “So you picked a fight with Kaido’s guys just to ask a question?”

 Drake sputtered so Luffy assumed the answer was a “yes.” Ha! And people called Luffy silly! Drake was sillier!

 He’d fit right in!

 “Okay, okay, so, hear me out here!” Luffy said. “We really, _really_ want to kick Kaido’s ass! Like, _super_ want to! So, so, you team up with us to kick his ass and we’ll _beat_ the answer out of him!”

 “Don’t insult me!” Drake barked, throwing a punch with his dinosaur arms.

 “…Teaming up is an insult for you? Traffy didn’t mention you were this weird,” Luffy sighed as he let the punch bounce off. Guy forgot to even use Haki. So weird.

 “You…want to help me beat up Kaido?” Drake asked blankly.

 “Well, we want you to help _us_ beat up Kaido since it was _my_ idea and all but…yeah,” Luffy admitted. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

 “Fun?” Drake asked. “Do you have _any_ idea what you’ll be up against, facing Kaido?”

 “No but you could tell me! You’re like a spy!” Luffy said. “Only cooler because you’re a dinosaur!”

 Drake put a hand to his head. “How on earth does Law put up with you?”

 Luffy grinned, “He loves me.”

.o.o.o.

 “Okay, so, update,” Vivi said as she peered out from behind the barricade. “I think Drake has been successfully recruited.”

 “What makes you say that?” Nami asked, shooting another air blast over the wall.

 “Well, they’re both sort of still in the middle of the melee mess and Drake’s staring at Luffy like the captain has completely shattered his perception of reality,” Vivi said, chancing another glance and ducking back before she could get shot at.

 “Yeah, that’s a ringer. Go Luffy,” Nami said, smirking. Suddenly her eyes widened, “Wait, they just stopped fighting in the middle of the fight?”

 “Yeah, I thought it looked kind of weird,” Vivi admitted as they both leaned around to look. “Oh, yeah, see, that one’s trying to kill Drake for not trying to kill Luffy right this second.”

 “Poor bastard,” Nami said as Luffy punched the aforementioned pirate over the horizon and went back to chatting up Drake like absolutely nothing else was going on. “Okay, so are any of Drake’s subordinates here? They should hopefully turn if he does…”

 “I didn’t see any,” Penguin said. He’d eagerly taken up Drake’s axe once Nami had stopped yelling at Luffy about tossing it near them.

 “I’m not sure, either,” Vivi said. “We need to—NAMI!”

 Nami looked up and the color drained from her face as some buildings down the street collapsed. “…Momo was over there.”

 “Oh no,” Vivi said. “I hope Barto’s barriers were as good as he said!”

.o.o.o.

 “ACE!” Momonosuke yelled, staring in horror at the rubble that had dropped on the Fire Fist. He and Bartolomeo had dropped quickly when the building collapsed, but Bartolomeo had simply made the barrier grow in order to push away the debris on top of them. Jack’s next attack had done a much better job, completely burying Ace.

 “Uh-oh,” Bartolomeo muttered quietly, pulling Momonosuke closer so he could decrease the barrier’s size in exchange for extra thickness. The great Luffy had told him to keep the kid safe, so safe the kid would stay!

 “Nice little marble you got there,” Jack said, turning to face them as he changed form from mammoth to man.

 “You’re just jealous my teeth are better than yours,” Bartolomeo scoffed before tensing as Jack brought a fist down on the barrier. No Haki yet, so it bounced clean off, but Bartolomeo wasn’t sure quite how much Haki it would hold up to once Jack started using it.

 To his surprised, Jack didn’t hit the bubble again, but used Haki to pick it up. Bartolomeo gulped. He’d never had anyone move his barriers for him before! That was a little scary, actually. Hmm, if they got thrown, he should protect Momo’s head and neck, right? Yeah, those were the important parts…

 Jack dropped the ball. To Bartolomeo’s joy, he slightly bounced off the inside of his bubble when it hit the ground, instead of smacking into a hard surface. On the other hand, Momonosuke had shrieked on he way down, and Bartolomeo was sort of sure his ears were bleeding now.

 Jack then hit the ball with a Haki covered fist and to Bartolomeo’s mortification the bubble shuddered a bit before vanishing. Jack smirked as he raised his fist again and Bartolomeo was about to summon another barrier between them when an attack lashed across the street, just passing Jack.

 “You don’t want to do that!” Cat Viper warned the giant, brandishing his staff.

 “You missed,” Jack mocked.

 “Nah.”

 Jack turned to see Ace, standing in the rubble with flames whipping around himself. “Just digging me out. Thanks.”

 “You are welcome!” Cat Viper laughed.

 “I dropped a tower on you!” Jack bellowed.

 “Yeah. It hurt,” Ace said as Bartolomeo darted forward, grabbed Momonosuke, made a new barrier around them both, and ran for cover, spinning the barrier like a hamster wheel. “Looks like you scuffed Momo up a bit too. **You’re going to get it for that, tusk for brains**.”

 “I’m not scared of a shrimp like you,” Jack scoffed.

 “ **Oh** , you should be,” Ace growled. “You **_really_** should be.”

 Ace grabbed one of the broken columns and whipped on his heel to hurl it at Jack.

 “You think a little show of strength, a little show of Haki, is going to intimidate me?” Jack asked as it bounced off of him. He leaned forward, “I raze whole nations, boy.”

 Ace grinned before reaching out and grabbing one of Jack’s braids. He yanked, tugging Jack down to his knees. “Droughts take time, big man. **Wildfires are faster**.”

 The arm holding the braid burst into flames, Jack’s hair lighting up with it.

 Jack roared and wrenched backwards but Ace moved quickly and grabbed the other braid with his non-burning arm. Jack’s hasty backward motion whipped the braid and with it Ace up into the air.

 Ace blasted fire in a circle around Jack to trap him before landing on the giant’s right tusk. “And good night.”

 He flicked his wrist, tossing embers into Jack’s eyes.

 Jack roared in pain as Ace whooped at being swung wildly again due to Jack’s writhing.

 Several of Jack’s men backed up as they realized this was _definitely_ the child of Red Haired Shanks, cheery displays of power and all.

 “Aw, yeah!” Ace laughed, hanging onto the tusk for dear life. “That’s more like it!”

 “Don’t forget about me!” Cat Viper said, charging back in. He leaped over the flames to punch Jack in the chest, knocking the giant onto his back…and causing him to land on top of the ring of fire.

 Jack yelped as he was burned. Ace meanwhile jumped at Cat Viper, who quickly caught on and launched Ace skyward.

 “All right, here we go!” Ace laughed. “ **Dragon Bomb!** ”

 He launched a massive serpentine dragon made of fire downwards at Jack. The dragon roared as it descended, the roar shaking the ground with the force of Ace’s Conqueror’s Haki and keeping Jack pinned long enough for the dragon to crash into him and explode.  

 Ace landed hard on one of Jack’s charred tusks, snapping it clean off. “Had enough?”

 Jack started to struggle Ace quickly hopped back, bumping into Dogstorm, “Oh. Hey. I, uh, think we’ve got this.”

 “No kill stealing, mutt!” Cat Viper scolded, rushing at Jack.

 “What did you call me?” Dogstorm demanded before turning to take his own swing at the downed giant.

 “HEY! I did all the work!” Ace complained, blasting Jack with fire.

 Frankly Jack wouldn’t have stood a chance even if he’d been in perfect condition before tha combination of attacks.

 “Ah, shit. We probably should have questioned him…” Ace muttered, kicking at some of the ashed at had fallen off Jack’s corpse. “Marco’s going to get on me for that…eh. Oh well. He had it coming, am I right?”

 “You charged at him so fearlessly!” Bartolomeo complimented with tears streaming down his cheeks.

 Momonosuke cheered. “Yeah! That’s Ace!”

  “Goronyaya!” Cat Viper laughed. “Oh, Ace, my boy, you’re Shanks’ kitten all right! Just the same kind of reckless!”

 “Not necessarily a good thing,” Dogstorm scolded before giving Ace a small smile. “But yes. You’re very much like him.”

 Ace grinned proudly, “Got that right. Momo, you okay?”

 “That was _awesome_!” Momonosuke cheered.

 “He’s fine,” Bartolomeo chuckled. “Crazy kid…who am I kidding, that was _amazing_! Oh, you were so inspring-!”

 “He managed to be cool for about ten seconds there,” Cat Viper said, shaking his head.

 “Eh, I’ll take it. Good job, Barto!” Ace said.

 Bartolomeo cried with joy again. Momonosuke chuckled and patted him on the knee.

.o.o.o.

 The battle didn’t last long after the news of Jack’s fall met the news of Monkey D. Luffy turning X Drake to his side. The Minks and Drake’s crew worked surprisingly well together for people who had been fighting a few minutes ago to round up Jack’s crew, with the Drake Pirates taking no small amount of glee in beating up their former forced-allies.

 Cat Viper and Dogstorm decided to agree once more in their lives to plan a recuperation party once everything was handled, helped in no small part by Momonosuke deciding that a battle simply needed to end with cake. Sanji had sighed, but obliged.

 “So, what do we know now?” Law asked, picking at some of his dessert. He had insisted he and Luffy talk to Drake. Luffy had insisted said talk occur with sweets. Drake had agreed, possibly hoping Law would argue, but some of the minks made coffee-flavored mochi so Law was more than happy to agree.

 Drake had recovered from his shock quickly, at least.

 “Ace is going to be a super protective dad when he gets kids,” Luffy said approvingly.

 “While that is an excellent trait for our dear First Fist to have, not my point,” Law said.

 “Oh, you meant about Kaido!” Luffy said. “Yeah apparently he and Drake’s dad were working together way back when and Drake tried to beat him up for that and got his butt kicked and then had to work for Kaido.”

 Law’s eyebrows raised as he glanced at Drake, “I didn’t know you were that stupid.”

 “Well, lucky me, I always knew you were an asshole,” Drake said pleasantly.

 Law laughed, “Nice to see you again, X-ya. Been a while.”

 “So, he’s going to work with us to get Kid and his guys out too,” Luffy said. “And, um…Dawkins?”

 “Hawkins,” Law and Drake corrected simultaneously.

 “Yeah, him. But Drake says Apoo’s totally on Kaido’s side or whatever so we’re saying screw him,” Luffy said. “You said Drake’s a nice guy and all, so I trust him on that.”

 Drake put a hand on his heart, “Trafalgar. You said I was _nice_?”

 “Fuck off, Drake,” Law muttered.

 “No, no, no,” Drake said. “ _You_ told your _boyfriend_ I was _nice_!”

 Luffy innocently looked between the laughing Drake and the quickly-becoming-furious Law, “Did…I miss something, guys?”

 “Nah, just Law being his usual self,” Drake said, smirking.

 “I will make you choke on your own appendix,” Law growled.

 “Joke’s on you, I don’t have one anymore!” Drake said proudly.

 Law looked moderately disappointed before sighing dramatically, “Fine, fine. Your kidney.”

 “I think he was being nice by picking an organ you don’t need,” Luffy said. “Or we don’t think you need. Seriously, where are you on that?”

 Law shrugged. “One of life’s great mysteries, for now. Penguin has an interesting theory about bacteria processing but really it’s going to take more time.”

 “…Law, are you performing unethical appendectomies?” Drake asked slowly.

 “ _Pirate_ ,” Law said. “Also, it’s not a true appendectomy. I just remove it in one easy go. It’s more efficient.”

 “Doing something easier doesn’t mean you’re not doing it,” Luffy pointed out. Law scowled.

 Drake looked between them, “Um…is this going to keep happening?”

 “Is what going to keep happening?” Luffy asked.

 “You two…doing that,” Drake said, waving at them.

 “Doing what?” Luffy asked.

 “That…thing. I don’t have words,” Drake said.

 Luffy and Law looked at each other and shrugged. Whatever it was, Drake would just have to get used to it before they fought Kaido.

**Author's Note:**

> FINALLY! Urgh, took me long enough, huh? This thing ended up being a pain, probably because so much of it and the next one were what was lost when my computer bricked back in June. But I got it done!
> 
> Jack barely survived Dogstorm and Cat Viper. Adding Ace to the mix doomed him. Plus Kaido hadn't been working long enough with Caesar to get chemical weapons, that had to help. And Drake's crew only being so loyal...
> 
> In case anyone missed it (since it was in Luffy's POV and he only pays so much attention) Drake went after Kaido because when Drake's father betrayed the marines, Kaido traded Barrels the ancient zoan and Drake wanted to know why. Luffy was right, Drake was being silly doing that, but also would fit in well with that attitude. 
> 
> Next time, an old friend of Ace, Sabo, and Luffy's shows up with some news that might affect how they take on Kaido, but is everything as it seems? The last story before we finally go fight the big guy is going to be Some Princess Plot!


End file.
